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by Scott Stevens

Yet another one of the current government’s grand plans is a major shake-up of the public sector. Few Kiwis will disagree our current system is far from perfect.

The slashing of inefficiency in the local government space is long overdue. The proposal in basic terms, is ditching regional councils and encourage/force district councils to amalgamate.

On the first proposal. Go for gold and throw the Otago Regional Council into the Port of Dunedin. They are the historical Rabbit Board, who couldn’t control rabbits and a gold mining era Water Board who couldn’t control water. They have not improved the efficiency of their core services. Goodbye, they should never have existed in the first place.

Now the interesting bit, amalgamation of district councils and the reallocation of regional council assets and responsibilities. District councils across the Otago region have been debating and voting on their preferred outcomes. Predictably unity across the region is non-existent. To put it mildly, it’s a shitshow of discourse. Why are we not surprised?

Look at the history behind Queenstown Lakes District Council. The QLDC did amalgamate back in 1987 when Queenstown and Wānaka said, “I do” and lived happily ever after. Or did they? Then in 1989 Arrowtown joined to make it a threesome. If ever the saying “three’s a crowd” rung true, here is the proof.

Queenstown thinks it is very important and the rest of New Zealand could not survive without its very important contributions to, well, everything. Wānaka is turning into a less important version of Queenstown, and they hate that. Arrowtown gets told to shut up, you are not important or special so stop taking the limelight off the much more important bedfellows, Queenstown and Wānaka. It’s not working, QLDC, let’s get a divorce.

It’s madness to think this three-way marriage, that doesn’t work now, will get better by adding a fourth, fifth or sixth to the bed. What efficiency will come by adding Cromwell, Alexandra and the rest of Central Otago? Or God forbid the train wreak that is Dunedin City Council.

If you think QLDC is bad, look at Dunedin. They take dysfunction to a whole new level. If the consequences of partnering up with them was not so serious, it would be primetime comedy gold. Benedict Ong and Lee Vandervis would be in line for Emmy Awards, for outstanding performances in an irreverent comedy show.

It’s crazy to think a marriage with destructive delusional negative strangers will have a constructive positive happy outcome.

I agree with the Government on one thing, the current system is not working for the people who pay the bills. But let’s not make it worse by creating a super-sized orgy of inefficiency and dysfunction. Give our unique townships back the right to self-determination. Less is best.