A funny peek into the future
Fast forward to 2030, what will the world look like? According to Heath Franklin, aka Chopper, humanity is all but wiped out and he’s the only one that can save us from the Softcockalypse. He’s bringing his comedy show to the Memorial Centre at the end of this month, where he’ll explain his plan to restart civilisation.
In case you’re not familiar with Mark ‘Chopper’ Read, he’s an Australian convicted gang member, who was quite the personality. He wrote a series of books about his life in the criminal underground, and had a movie made about him. One of his more notorious acts was getting a fellow prisoner to cut off his ears, so that he could get out of a division in the prison.
Gruesome history aside, Franklin’s rendition of Chopper requires no prior knowledge – it’s funny no matter how much you know about Melbourne’s underground figures.
“I jettisoned all the in-jokes and super references very early on, so you don’t need to know who Chopper is to come and see the show and enjoy it,” Franklin says. “I’d describe him as a scruffy, foul-mouthed bogan with mild tendencies towards violence.”
Franklin was last here about a year ago where he brought I’m Not Here to F*ck Spiders to Queenstown, now he’s returning with The Last Hard Bastard on Earth.
“It’s a totally different show. I had the idea ‘what if Chopper comes back from the future to try and warn us about the impending apocalyptic event of people being too soft, and they just need to harden up a bit?’ It just felt like it was fun enough and dumb enough that it could really be something.”
In the show, the world has collapsed under the weight of gentle parenting, 37 types of milk, and self-diagnosing whingers. But fear not – like a glorious moustachioed phoenix, Chopper has risen to restart civilisation.
The New Zealand shows come after a tour around Australia; Franklin says by the time he arrives all the teething problems will be worked out and we’ll get the best part of the show.
“I’ve always found that New Zealand audiences have a bit of a dark sense of humour. That clicks with me, that sort of making fun at the grim moments and mucking around with the macabre and all that kind of stuff. I think I’ve always really clicked with New Zealand audiences in that way.”
Getting into character is easier these days for Franklin, joking that it’s harder for him to get out of character and stop swearing as Chopper does. He says it’s always been his humour driving the attitude of the character.
“I figured out really early on that Chopper either loves things or he hates things, and the more you get bogged down in the nuance or grey areas, the swampier it gets. It’s very nice to have those parameters to work towards, instead of this open-ended, endless, what’s funny, kind of thing.
“I feel like at the moment we’re churning through this new phase of hyper-modernity, where all these crazy new, ridiculous innovations come along, and you just need someone to point out how dumb they are.”
The best part of the tour for Franklin is getting to explore Aotearoa. Travelling around the country by car, he’ll get to take in the sights.
“I always love coming to New Zealand and driving around and doing shows – it’s such a lovely countryside,” Franklin says.
Heath Franklin’s Chopper – The Last Hard Bastard on Earth will be at Queenstown Memorial Centre on Thursday, 29 May at 7pm. Grab your ticket here.
